The Amazing SpiderMan' Trailer Abridged
by Anonymius
Summary: A parody of the second trailer of 'The Amazing Spider-Man'.


**I do not own Spider-Man or anything related**

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Commentator: Hello all! Ever wish that you could turn back the clock? Get younger instead of older? Relive your high school years (which as everyone knows is the peak of life)? Then maybe you should do the next best thing, which is go into acting, where you can play a character as young as ten years your junior, and people will just go along with it! Just take a look at Andrew Garfield in this trailer for 'The (ahem) Amazing Spider-Man'!

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City: Look how dark and potentially gritty I am now!

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Stacy: so tell us a little about yourself Mr Parker.

Peter: Not much to tell really.

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(Shoots a string of web at the wall)

Peter: Ha! Stretches the audience's suspense of belief my silk producing abdomen!

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Stacy: Spider-Man wears a mask. Like an outlaw.

Peter: Or as someone who doesn't want people to know that he's spider-man so that he can have a normal life or that crooks won't come after him or those he cares about-

Stacy: Oh not that old excuse, if our loved ones were really in danger from the ones we caught don't you think that all cops would wear masks in order to conceal their identities?

Peter: Well...maybe you should.

(Silence hangs in the air)

Gwen: (Well this isn't awkward at all!)

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Crook: Who are you?

Spider-Man: I'm the g-ddamn Spider-Man.

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School: Look how gritty and run-down I look now!

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Flash (Throws a basketball at Peter) Ha ha! Look how gritty and badass I look now because now I'm a skinhead!

Peter: Man. I'm no longer a stereotypical nerd and I still get picked on by bullies!

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Peter: (Holds Flash up) It's a good thing though that in these type of movies the bully always gets his comeuppance!

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Lizard: Mwahahahah! I am the Lizard! Cower before my CG-eye and my ambiguous motives!

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Sam Raimi Dr Connors: (Watching) That should have been meeeeeeeeeeee! And I'm sure I would have been a lot more of a sympathetic and understandable villain than this guy!

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Captain Stacy: I am issuing an arrest warrant for the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man.

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Captain Stacy: -Jeez. Why are you booing me?

Bystander: Well let's see how about on one hand Spidey is a selfless guy who has taken it upon himself to protect the city from criminal scum whereas you're the authoritarian dick who's only reason for hating Spider-Man is that you feel he's doing your job.

Captain Stacy: It is not! Everyone knows that tt's illegal for a normal civilian to arrest or apprehend criminals!

Bystander: If that's true then how are the Guardian Angels a legal organization?

Captain Stacy: ….Who?

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Cop: You! How dare you stop that thief inflicting the minimal amount of injury! That's my job! Without the minimal! Take this!

BANG BANG!

(Obligatory kissing scene occurs followed by fifty seconds of action which undoutably mean that this film will be good because action always means a film will be good especially in a trailer right? Right?)

**The Amazing Spider-Man.**

**Coming out tomorrow.**

Professor: Sir, isn't it a bit late to make a parody out of the second trailer of 'The Amazing Spider-Man'?

Commentator: Well this is Anonymius.

Professor: Fair point.

* * *

Jameson: Wait a minute I wasn't even in the trailer! Does this mean I'm not going to be in the movie?

Hoffman: Not necessarily Sir, I don't remember you being in the trailer for the first Spider-Man film and you were. There's no way any director wouldn't exclude a character so crucial to the Spider-Man story such as yourself!

Jameson: Ha! That's right! Unlike you, who will never be in another Spider-Man movie. Ever. Unless Sam Raimi decides to make another AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Ah. Nepotism.

Hoffman: -Then again it's more than possible that Marc Webb would feel that the chief of police makes a far more plausible civilian antagonist than some editor of a tabloid newspaper who everyone believes for no reason. I mean it's not like you're parodying him or anything.

Jameson: …..DAMN YOU, MARC WEBB!

BUZZZZZZZZZZ!

Betty Brant: Watch your blood pressure, Sir!

Jameson: Sigh. I hate my life.


End file.
